(1) The presidential frontrunners on New Year’s will not ultimately receive their party’s nomination.
(2) America will not win a gold medal in diving, gymnastics, or synchronized swimming at the Beijing Olympics.
(3) Mother Assumpta Long will not have enough room in her motherhouse for all her new postulants (not an altogether bad thing).
(4) I will not get change back from my $50 bill when I fill the tank of the family minivan (now that is a bad thing!).
(5) Bishop Bruskewitz will not be named an Archbishop, despite several U.S. vacancies.
(6) The Church will not change her official teaching on contraception, homosexuality and “gay marriage,” women’s ordination, or other established, immutable doctrines–reports and/or wishful thinking notwithstanding.
(7) Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens will not admit to knowingly using performance-enhancing drugs.
(8) The U.S. bishops will not speak with a unified voice in this year’s presidential election, and those who identify themselves as “Catholic” in the polls will mirror the general population in their vote for the next president.
(9) In a related prediction, whoever happens to be reviewing movies for the USCCB in 2008 will not publish a favorable review of the next notorious, anti-Catholic Hollywood film–even if he happens to like it.
(10) No Boston sports team will win a championship. Not the 16-0 Patriots. Not the revitalized Celtics. Not Red Sox nation. Not even the Boston Bruins (is there still an NHL?). The rest of the country has had enough of this madness. It’s time to begin a new curse.